People always say that you should ‘let go of people who are toxic in your life, and be yourself!’…but, how do you do that if they are really close, like, family? And how do you select the right people to be in your life if you are feeling too low or isolated to meet new people? Or how do you choose your company if you’re not even sure who you are? 🤔
As we grow older, we really do find out who are TRUE friends and who the people are that accept and love you no matter what. ❤️
That, in itself, can be very hard though. Sometimes we have no choice when people leave our lives of their own accord. The feeling that remains is great loss, not unlike letting go of someone close who has died. And we grieve. 😞
It’s usually learning the hard way, spotting the difference between the people that deserve to be in your life and those who don’t. I have certainly made the mistake of indulging personal information to very close people who have then run off and completely turned things around on me. Unfortunately these people will be in my life in some form forever so I have had to learn how to ‘remove them from my personal life, but at the same time, accept them being around and keep the peace’.
I think a good place to start this blog is with YOU! How do you honestly feel about yourself? 🧐 Would you enjoy your company if you were your friend? Do you feel like you are a good friend to others? Or do you feel like you have to compare yourself to others all the time and seek their approval??
If you are struggling to see your own worth, it is impossible to know how to choose the right company for your life!
So how do you gain back confidence that you may have lost?
Sometimes it is our physical appearance that makes us lose confidence in ourselves, therefore working out or dressing up can help increase your confidence, by proactively telling yourself through your behaviour that you are worth it. Or it may be our mindset, therefore focusing and studying motivational quotes or positive daily growth readings can help boost your mood and confidence. It is harder to train the mind to think positively then it is to work out or dress up. If you have low self esteem it is damn near impossible to feel confident! 😳
Take control of your thoughts. 🧠
By catching yourself out when you are thinking negatively about yourself, and challenging that thinking, you are breaking the cycle of being negative. If you are thinking you look fat or aren’t a good friend to others, instead of saying those things to yourself, ask the question ‘what am I doing to improve this?’. By doing something, anything, you are moving in a positive direction.
Studies have proved that smiling reduces blood pressure, makes you feel calmer and happier, as it releases endorphins and seratonin in your body. So even if you don’t feel like it, show your teeth! You will feel better about yourself and look better to other people, which will also improve your self esteem and confidence. 👍🏻
If you are nervous or intimidated in a situation, observe your breathing. You will most likely find your breathing too fast! This will increase your heart rate and make you feel more anxious! Take a moment to focus on your breathing and slow it down. Breathe in and hold it, and let it go. When you feel calm, you can see things with more clarity. And you will find that you will see things more positively, rather than negatively.
Talk to yourself. 🗣
If you are feeling low in confidence or thinking negatively about yourself, stand in front of the mirror and have a look at yourself! 👀 Convince yourself that you are worth it! You are perfect, just the way you are! If you can’t convince yourself, how can you possibly convince others? You have to go to sleep with YOU at the end of everyday! Wouldn’t you rather be at peace with who you are than going to sleep miserable? 💤 And if your ‘friends’ can’t see the real beauty in you, they’re not your friends.
If you are feeling like you need to let someone go because they are not helping you or are bringing you down, but don’t really know how, maybe start gradually. Start not responding straight away to text messages or phone messages… You may need to make other plans if you know they are somewhere that you are going to be which would make you uncomfortable. Remember, your goal is to let them go from your life, so it may take a little work! But the end result will be worth it. Yes, you may well bump into them down the track, but we’re all adults here… we don’t need to resort to negative behaviour… 😏
Once in a while, out of the blue, you might find someone comes across your path, even if you are at your worst! They don’t have to know your history, if they care about you they will accept you for where you are at and support you through your future journey. I believe these people are sent to us from above! Just at the right time! 😇
So if you are ever feeling like someone is judging you, inadvertently or not, they are probably not the right person to have in your life. It is so important to surround yourself with people who are positive and accept your journey, and support you, wherever you are at in life. Be prepared for people to come and go in your life, they’re just passing through. But the ones who are still there through all your heartache, they’re worth hanging onto!
Invest your time in them! 👫🙏🏻
Stay well x